Spotted; The corridor crew hitting up innocent passersby with snippets of pro- LGBT propaganda as they pass on their merry straight-as-sticks way. Witnessed; a classroom of Second Years overhearing an apparent lesbian express her deeply rooted attraction for a male type person in said classroom. It was later claimed that apparently the only overheard part was the word "lesbian", deeply affecting one class' beliefs toward a certain person and thus creating an uncomfortable, yet amusing joke in German lessons. Dana Umlaut, this is your fault.
Hello, and welcome to overheard in SFC, a new feature of snippets of anecdotes and misunderstandings. They can perhaps be an insight into the goings on in my friendship circle at SFC, aka the Corridor Crew.
1. Get out and stay out.
For some unknown reason [well, grabbing Dana Umlaut's arse might be a possible reason. It was German class! And somebody said 'assen' (the perfect subjunctive form of the verb
; to eat) so I thought to illustrate the point thoroughly, some groping was in order.] my classmates thought I was a lesbian. Before this though, I really cannot think what would lead them to believe I was an exclusive carpet muncher.
For some unknown reason [well, grabbing Dana Umlaut's arse might be a possible reason. It was German class! And somebody said 'assen' (the perfect subjunctive form of the verb
; to eat) so I thought to illustrate the point thoroughly, some groping was in order.] my classmates thought I was a lesbian. Before this though, I really cannot think what would lead them to believe I was an exclusive carpet muncher."This? Oh it's a book I got out from the library. It's a really interesting read. It's about two chicks who like chicks and then they do some chick stuff.....no I'm just researching some stuff for my uh blog..." ->
You should never book a judge by their cover.
Oh wait..
"who cares. They think I'm a lesbian, they're hardly going to notice if I get a commonly used idiom wrong, they're too busy looking at me and Dana Umlaut to see if we're going to kiss."
It got to the frustrating point, where, after some amusing provocations from the beloved corridor crew I accidentally outed myself to my German conversation teacher.
"OMFG I'M NOT A LESBIAN, I'M BISEXUAL!" was bellowed from my sassy lips as she strolled past us. This was followed by a surprisingly funny comment, as my teacher did not even hesitate in her gait as she strolled through the corridor.
"Whatever makes you happy C.J"
Some sort of victory was achieved by this accidental and slightly embarrassing outing of myself. However, it was then shat all over like a rug beneath an insolent dog, as a few fellow German pupilees were behind a muffled door in a classroom opposite and apparently "lesbian" is easier to decipher than "bisexual".
"OMFG I'M NOT A LESBIAN, I'M BISEXUAL!" was bellowed from my sassy lips as she strolled past us. This was followed by a surprisingly funny comment, as my teacher did not even hesitate in her gait as she strolled through the corridor.
"Whatever makes you happy C.J"
Some sort of victory was achieved by this accidental and slightly embarrassing outing of myself. However, it was then shat all over like a rug beneath an insolent dog, as a few fellow German pupilees were behind a muffled door in a classroom opposite and apparently "lesbian" is easier to decipher than "bisexual".
The lie of a lesbian CJ lives on, sadly.
Never before has there been such a misunderstanding. Oh wait, Luigi, I think you win man. That isn't how you ask for the time in ASL.
2. Smouldering corsets and scolding words.Continuing on this path of inappropriateness, Dana Umlaut proceeded to mock my sexuality and the loudness of my coming out, but then decided to describe the hotness of a Corridor Crew member in a corset. In graphic detail, which had the rest of us spellbound with shock and disgust, she described the various actions she wished to take. Dana Umlaut then experienced her own shame when a cranky old woman scolded her for talking so loudly about "such sordid things". I then laughed my arse off, whilst an evil eye roamed in my direction.
3. Realisation kicks in.After an hour and a half of such saucy conversation, a thought dawned on us. The classroom opposite us had two or three members from German class inside. One member, who had been mentioned an uncountable amount of times; regarding Dana Umlaut's sexual appetite. And that, was the end of a long, laughable day. You could have seen the cartoon zoom lines as Miss Umlaut made a speedy exit from the area as the classroom door burst open.
2. Smouldering corsets and scolding words.Continuing on this path of inappropriateness, Dana Umlaut proceeded to mock my sexuality and the loudness of my coming out, but then decided to describe the hotness of a Corridor Crew member in a corset. In graphic detail, which had the rest of us spellbound with shock and disgust, she described the various actions she wished to take. Dana Umlaut then experienced her own shame when a cranky old woman scolded her for talking so loudly about "such sordid things". I then laughed my arse off, whilst an evil eye roamed in my direction.
3. Realisation kicks in.After an hour and a half of such saucy conversation, a thought dawned on us. The classroom opposite us had two or three members from German class inside. One member, who had been mentioned an uncountable amount of times; regarding Dana Umlaut's sexual appetite. And that, was the end of a long, laughable day. You could have seen the cartoon zoom lines as Miss Umlaut made a speedy exit from the area as the classroom door burst open.
As the class spilt out, the corridor crew laughed and lolled until their hearts were content and were it a movie it would have carried to the rolling credits. But it wasn't a movie, so we all just fucked off and went to our lessons.
Seriously, this post is over. No more lesbian jokes.
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